Lets get something straight, Dumbledore is gay. He smokes the pink peace pipe, he prefers his gardening downhill, he plays for the other side, he likes to polish wands and various other euphemisms for prefering wizards to witches.

Only he doesn’t.

He doesn’t because he’s a fictional character. Interesting news that this is to those who read the books, does this news really warrant the international coverage it’s garnered, or for the blogosphere to be resplendant with nuanced debate from people who really should be talking about more important things. You know like say Iraq or Darfur? Or that short Russian fella who keeps waving his warheads around and offering everyone glowing sushi (hint – say no)?

I came across the topic on several mainstream news sites and superblogs and I expected, not unreasonably I felt, a series of highly crafted innuendos in the high vaunted tradition of British Camp. Instead I found grown, highly educated men and women, arguing the validity of an author disclosing information about characters that does not relate to the story.

Yeah I mean how dare one of the world’s best selling authors think they have a right to comment on the background of one of the character’s they created. What was she thinking?

So in the interests of redressing the balance of disclosure I would like to reveal that the nanobots in “How you doing?” are in fact lesbians.

There. Your life’s complete now.

What do you mean you’ve never heard of me?