Predictable

No one likes a predictable narrative, it’s a bit disappointing – if not unsurprising – that yesterday’s votes seem to have produced exactly what most of us expected: Lib Dems punished for cuts, Tory side-stepping of responsibility, a lack lustre response from Labour and a probably No to AV. It’s a shame.

The shame is not the result (though I was a Yes guy on AV and I rarely agree with Tories). Rather the whole quality of debate between the professional politicians on both sides was witheringly pathetic for a parliament that is supposed to recognise the need for change in how politics are conducted. From the non-entity that is Ed Miliband through to the utter upper class nonsense espoused by David Cameron or the ineffective whining of the increasingly Gollum like Clegg. The best, most good natured, debate I saw was amongst high profile, non-politician, supporters on both sides and within the genre community who are both groups more likely to have trawled more of the argument than the majority. However, I did expect politicians to present more eloquent arguments than thumbing their noses at each other across the tabloids.

I’m wary of the golden years, hindsight based, view of the world where people bemoan the state of the modern day.

But…

It does seem to me that we’re rather overdue for a great reforming political voice. A politician who sees the real potential in improving the lives of everyone not just a minority. Equally, it seems that as a society we’ve done everything to prevent such a person getting into power by refusing to foot the bill for education that increases social mobility, confusing freedom of press with toxic tabloids, a hypersensitivity to offense that discourages robust debate and a lack of willingness to engage with the political debate unless it’s presented as reality TV. Maybe it was always this way. Certainly, I could spin some of the less attractive habits of great historical politicians including Churchill that would chime with modern day behaviour and yet I can point to things they did that, frankly, are lacking in the last four prime Ministers at least.

Perhaps, I’m getting old or just cynical. What do you reckon? Was it always this way or is it a recent change?

Transient

In the flurry of things we had on I’d planned my next post to be a short, throwaway post showing the Sex Pistols’ Anarchy In The UK to mark Friday’s events. It wasn’t big or clever. But it seemed a good antidote to the uncomfortable Royalist chest thumping going on.

I was too busy as it transpired, running around doing things with family. It can wait, I told myself, it will still be funny on Monday.

I had not gambled on the speed of the international media narrative, the ever grinding wheel on which our sense of the world (in the west) is shaped. Overnight it was confirmed Osama Bin Laden was killed by the US (although evidence has been notable in its absence so far) and suddenly the post seems out of date.

It has got me thinking about the transient nature of most of this stuff, particularly the media narrative. No conclusions, but watching the coverage is as interesting as it is depressing in places: very little reflection on how our reaction will play in other countries.

It will be interesting to see how this story develops. What was it the Chinese say…?

 

Represent

Election night in the UK.

I had, once upon a time, a long ranty post planned about how poor the choice was in this election. I had a belligerent plan to ignore it.

I still feel the old system of monolithic parties that you follow on *every* policy (a la Polly-whats-her-face at the Grauniad) is a pretty piss poor way to implement your democracy – bordering on a bi-decade elected oligarchy. And don’t get me started on the baby boomer agenda. In the end I voted for the party that least annoyed me.

But…

At least there appears to have been engagement, people cared, and that’s important. Maybe, just maybe, we’ll get real change.

And I don’t mean Cameron.

NB – If you are swinging through because of my various attempts at satire, please do – if you weren’t too offended – check out my fiction.

Britain

“The elections are a matter for the Iranian people, but if there are serious questions that are now being asked about the conduct of the elections, they have got to be answered,” – Gordon Brown

I applaud Brown for this sentiment.

Bloody good thing we don’t have to worry about an unelected Prime Minister and a divinely appointed head of state, don’t you think?

Pass the tea.

Stark complexity

I see Starkey was at it again last week.

David Starkey is ostensibly a historian specialising in – oh the irony – the Tudors but seems more intent these days in generating media attention by wresting the coveted rudest-man-in-television-award away from celebrity chefs and lazy back-combed stand-ups back to its rightful place amongst pseudo-academics. Yes: he annoyed me but probably not for the reasons you’d think.

The comments, from last week’s Question Time, that produced the media attention were:

“If we decide to go down this route of an English national day it will mean we have become a feeble little country, just like the Scots and the Welsh and the Irish.

“The Scots and the Welsh are typical small nations with a romantic 19th century-style nationalism.”

Now, as most regular readers will know I am Welsh, and it’s not unreasonable to expect me to be annoyed because, whilst I am not anything like what you would call a nationalist (nor a Welsh speaker), I do identify with my home culture. I am not someone who was just born there; my family is Welsh going back quite a way and Welsh speaking from my grandparent’s generation back. Yet it wasn’t as a Taff I got annoyed. It was as someone who studied history, reads history in my spare time and, indeed, has a passing awareness of the current geo-political map.

The quote was in response to the question ‘should England have a public holiday for St George’s day?’. Wales does not enjoy a public holiday on St David’s day, Scotland does because it has its own parliament (the Welsh National Assembly is not a parliament whatever my countrymen might assert) and Eire is not part of the United Kingdom but a fully independent nation state that naturally has its own bank holidays. Of course Starkey knows this, he is simplifying in order to make a point and because he holds us, the audience, in contempt. We can’t digest complexity.

If Wales and Scotland are feeble little countries so then is England because, just like Wales and Scotland, it is not a nation state. It is one of the countries that makes up the nation state of the UK enjoying its own patron saint (St George) and sports teams and its own share of vocal nationalists. The nation state in which I live is, to give its full name, the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland. Notice there is no mention of England or Wales or Scotland?

The truth is this country was created over thousands of years by many different tribes and emerging fractal kingdoms kicking the shit out of each other, being invaded by Vikings, Irish, Anglo-Saxons and Normans before emerging in its current state. A “United Kingdom” that is actually a “Queendom” and occasional democracy populated by English, Welsh, Scot, Irish, Pakistanis, Hindus, Afro-Brits, Iranians, Iraqis, French, Italian, Serbs, Croatians, Poles – the list goes on. A “United Kingdom” that is so familiar with violent dissent that its citizens chief response to terrorist attack was to go to the pub. It is a dysfunctional, kaleidoscope of cultures banging against each other on a small collection of rocks on the east side of the Atlantic. In short:

We are complicated.

Perhaps it was that complicated nature that led the to the use of the Welsh Not in the eighteenth century and that was still in use into the mid-nineteenth century. A charming practice that involved hanging a piece of wood around the neck of children heard to be speaking Welsh in school until the end of the school day, when whichever poor sod was wearing the wood got lashed. It was such an unpleasant practice that in the mid-nineteenth century government reports into education denounced the practice – in spite of condemning other aspects of Welsh culture. Pesky people blurring the lines again.

Starkey is supposed to be a historian but he seems to have forgotten that history is, at its root, all about people. After all, country isn’t really a collection of borders and land; the nation state is merely a construct of people who share a set of resources based on landmass in order to ensure personal survival through mutual co-operation. History is the record told through recollections and records of events of what went before, people’s stories retold and distilled through the personal bias of the historian or teller but the by-product of people. No people, no history.

People, people, people, you can’t get away from it.

I can hazard a guess as to why Starkey feels the need to be so reductive that he makes himself look like an arse on a regular basis and that’s his weakness in falling for the glass teat’s seductive glow. No, stop – you see? I’m doing it now; I’m guilty of reductive thinking and showing my personal prejudice. It’s not the demon telly. It’s people again. There are a vocal segment of a population (in the sense they devote money, attention and consumption) who crave the simple story: the three act, simple premise, face of a thousand heroes, twenty-four hour news agenda filler, quotable sound bite. Popular media in most of its forms chases this lowest common denominator for the win and that’s all Starkey is doing: trying to get his name and his new series in front of that all-important virally consumptive audience.

It is all about people and, now that I think of it, it’s not Starkey I’m annoyed with. It’s the people that egg him on and – dare I say it – myself for devoting time to him, giving him the attention he craves like the media junky he has become in the drive for ratings.

People are complicated but Starkey is transparent.

Brain food

Migraine

I have one, tail end now. It’s delayed my review.

Brief observation: anyone else noticed the recent surge in UK fear stories regarding terrororist attacks?

If the UK government is so worried why are there still bins in Central London? I remember a lot less squawking in the 80s when I was growing up and a lot less bins. Of course there was more litter.

Also: constant threat of nuclear annihilation. That’s gone now. I mean it’s not like there’s an ex-KGB agent in charge of a stockpile of weapons, or a Chicago academic with a weak voting record and poor choice in jokes on another pile, or a country on the brink of destabilisation with it’s own arsenal and an equally armed hostile neighbour.

Naturally, we should be afraid of the bearded fanatic in the cave. Glad we cleared that up.

Sarcastic? Moi?

Interruption to service

I haven’t been around for a few days.

Tempting as it is to blame this on snow it’s actually because I’ve had a couple of days off and have been doing Stuff. A few draft posts are backing up now and so you can expect normal service to resume in the next few hours or so.

For now, having read this, and having no real wish to defend Clarkson I will simply point out that yes: criticising someone for being optically challenged and Scottish is foolish, especially in the current media age. However, to take issue with someone (even Clarkson) calling our current (unelected) Prime Minister a liar is desperately stupid: ALL politicians lie. Although I’m sure they would say they were merely stating the truth from a different point of view…

True though it is, it’s not really news.

Buh-Bye Now

There’s one topic I’m guessing everyone will be blogging about today. However, leaving Tony Hart to one side for now, today is also the day we get to say good bye to George W. Bush. Or as I prefer to think of him: Junior.

George Bush

Junior’s been with us for eight long years. He’s the fourth President that I actually remember (we’ve only had three Prime Ministers, in the same time you’ve had five Presidents – over achievers). Eight years is quite a long time really and George W. Bush was determined that we would not forget him. He’s been such a busy little bee: so many people to kill, so many alliances to strain, and so much money to make from it all. No, I doubt anyone will shed a tear to see him go, unless overcome with relief that, despite his best efforts, he did not managed to end the world.

Indeed, the whole run up to Bush leaving seems to smack rather of an old relative, finally gone mad, being sent off at last to the funny farm. There’s a collective breathe being held all around the world, as if no one can quite believe he’s actually going to leave without a protest, that this is not the moment where he destroys the illusion and confirms what many believed for so long. And tomorrow it shall be exhaled blowing bush out of the Oval office.

Now, Obama isn’t going to solve everything nor will he walk on water or turn water into wine. He’s just a man.

But he’s not a Bush and that’s a step up from here.

The dark side of the shoe

I’m not above a good clothesline of humour directed at the bushmeister but in all the shoe related humour that’s been scuttling around the internet someone seems to have been forgotten. That person is the ballsy journalist that threw the damned thing in the first place. According to the guy’s brother, Dargham, his brother has been so badly beaten the judge cannot bring him to court for fear of the anger it would provoke in the general populace. Injuries include a broken arm, busted ribs amongst other injuries and The Guardian has the full story.

Now, I have to admit loving the fact that a game is doing the rounds, allowing all and sundry to throw footwear at old George W and indulge in their own bit of sock and awe. That laughter dwindled a little on reading this story. I’m not sure if it’s true but my gut tells me it’s all too plausible. Perhaps, if it is true, then George can try to regain a modicum of credibility by condemning the Iraqi authorities for undue force and inappropriate punishment. Certainly if the guy is locked up for the seven to ten years he can be under Iraqi law I’d hope those indulging in some shoe play will be as vocal in standing up for Muntazer.

If you’ll excuse me I’m off to by cheap pair of brogues, there’s a Scot I know who could do with a pair.

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