Heat engine

There is less me in the world than there was the last time I blogged.

I’ve been trying to lose weight for a while now. Last year I tried, based on gym membership and generally trying to eat less, but too little avail and somehow wound up heavier towards the end than at the beginning of the year. My own fault: deep down I know what works for me but put off doing it because of…well I guess not being ready. As I documented here I have overcome that obstacle by getting myself a fold up and integrating rides into my daily commute. Combined with watching my calorie intake based on some simple equations around BMR I am now seeing results.

There’s a lot of nonsense talked about weight loss. A great deal of pseudo science. What I’ve noticed in trying to do this, and reading a lot around it, is that it basically comes down to energy in versus energy out.

It reminded me of an interview I listened to with Brian Cox in which he discussed why if he believed in life after death* he would have to rethink how fridges work. His point was that the human body is basically a heat engine that conforms to the same physical rules that hold the universe together, some of which are quite well known like thermodynamics. Now, I don’t necessarily think all of those laws are understood or indeed that those that do sufficiently describe the human condition or the relative experience of reality for this to be a logical counter argument to either religion or belief in life after death but you shouldn’t ask a physicist for those kind of answers**. You need a hybrid scientist/philosopher to have any hope there and working across neuroscience, physics, biology, chemistry and probably quantum physics. I digress.

You see what I notice in controlling my calories, and trying to move more, is that my body really is a highly evolved heat engine. Slight changes in either part of that equation produces changes in how my overall body behaves: too little and everything starts to slow down; too much and my body starts to hoard for a fast that in my privileged Western world is not coming. Most weird of all is just how predictable it is once you plug the numbers in and stick to them. I am a typical heat engine it seems.

As to why I am doing any of this? It might be said it’s my forthcoming nuptials but truthfully I think it’s more about making sure the engine works as long as possible. After all, no machine lasts forever.

* It might have been god or religion. I am paraphrasing based on memory.
** I say this as a card carrying Atheist. There’s a lot of bad arguments made by scientists including Dawkins, and they don’t do us any favours however well intentioned.

Represent

Election night in the UK.

I had, once upon a time, a long ranty post planned about how poor the choice was in this election. I had a belligerent plan to ignore it.

I still feel the old system of monolithic parties that you follow on *every* policy (a la Polly-whats-her-face at the Grauniad) is a pretty piss poor way to implement your democracy – bordering on a bi-decade elected oligarchy. And don’t get me started on the baby boomer agenda. In the end I voted for the party that least annoyed me.

But…

At least there appears to have been engagement, people cared, and that’s important. Maybe, just maybe, we’ll get real change.

And I don’t mean Cameron.

NB – If you are swinging through because of my various attempts at satire, please do – if you weren’t too offended – check out my fiction.

Stark complexity

I see Starkey was at it again last week.

David Starkey is ostensibly a historian specialising in – oh the irony – the Tudors but seems more intent these days in generating media attention by wresting the coveted rudest-man-in-television-award away from celebrity chefs and lazy back-combed stand-ups back to its rightful place amongst pseudo-academics. Yes: he annoyed me but probably not for the reasons you’d think.

The comments, from last week’s Question Time, that produced the media attention were:

“If we decide to go down this route of an English national day it will mean we have become a feeble little country, just like the Scots and the Welsh and the Irish.

“The Scots and the Welsh are typical small nations with a romantic 19th century-style nationalism.”

Now, as most regular readers will know I am Welsh, and it’s not unreasonable to expect me to be annoyed because, whilst I am not anything like what you would call a nationalist (nor a Welsh speaker), I do identify with my home culture. I am not someone who was just born there; my family is Welsh going back quite a way and Welsh speaking from my grandparent’s generation back. Yet it wasn’t as a Taff I got annoyed. It was as someone who studied history, reads history in my spare time and, indeed, has a passing awareness of the current geo-political map.

The quote was in response to the question ‘should England have a public holiday for St George’s day?’. Wales does not enjoy a public holiday on St David’s day, Scotland does because it has its own parliament (the Welsh National Assembly is not a parliament whatever my countrymen might assert) and Eire is not part of the United Kingdom but a fully independent nation state that naturally has its own bank holidays. Of course Starkey knows this, he is simplifying in order to make a point and because he holds us, the audience, in contempt. We can’t digest complexity.

If Wales and Scotland are feeble little countries so then is England because, just like Wales and Scotland, it is not a nation state. It is one of the countries that makes up the nation state of the UK enjoying its own patron saint (St George) and sports teams and its own share of vocal nationalists. The nation state in which I live is, to give its full name, the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland. Notice there is no mention of England or Wales or Scotland?

The truth is this country was created over thousands of years by many different tribes and emerging fractal kingdoms kicking the shit out of each other, being invaded by Vikings, Irish, Anglo-Saxons and Normans before emerging in its current state. A “United Kingdom” that is actually a “Queendom” and occasional democracy populated by English, Welsh, Scot, Irish, Pakistanis, Hindus, Afro-Brits, Iranians, Iraqis, French, Italian, Serbs, Croatians, Poles – the list goes on. A “United Kingdom” that is so familiar with violent dissent that its citizens chief response to terrorist attack was to go to the pub. It is a dysfunctional, kaleidoscope of cultures banging against each other on a small collection of rocks on the east side of the Atlantic. In short:

We are complicated.

Perhaps it was that complicated nature that led the to the use of the Welsh Not in the eighteenth century and that was still in use into the mid-nineteenth century. A charming practice that involved hanging a piece of wood around the neck of children heard to be speaking Welsh in school until the end of the school day, when whichever poor sod was wearing the wood got lashed. It was such an unpleasant practice that in the mid-nineteenth century government reports into education denounced the practice – in spite of condemning other aspects of Welsh culture. Pesky people blurring the lines again.

Starkey is supposed to be a historian but he seems to have forgotten that history is, at its root, all about people. After all, country isn’t really a collection of borders and land; the nation state is merely a construct of people who share a set of resources based on landmass in order to ensure personal survival through mutual co-operation. History is the record told through recollections and records of events of what went before, people’s stories retold and distilled through the personal bias of the historian or teller but the by-product of people. No people, no history.

People, people, people, you can’t get away from it.

I can hazard a guess as to why Starkey feels the need to be so reductive that he makes himself look like an arse on a regular basis and that’s his weakness in falling for the glass teat’s seductive glow. No, stop – you see? I’m doing it now; I’m guilty of reductive thinking and showing my personal prejudice. It’s not the demon telly. It’s people again. There are a vocal segment of a population (in the sense they devote money, attention and consumption) who crave the simple story: the three act, simple premise, face of a thousand heroes, twenty-four hour news agenda filler, quotable sound bite. Popular media in most of its forms chases this lowest common denominator for the win and that’s all Starkey is doing: trying to get his name and his new series in front of that all-important virally consumptive audience.

It is all about people and, now that I think of it, it’s not Starkey I’m annoyed with. It’s the people that egg him on and – dare I say it – myself for devoting time to him, giving him the attention he craves like the media junky he has become in the drive for ratings.

People are complicated but Starkey is transparent.

Along the river

A short one this evening as I have some bits to do.

I’m pleased to report the ride to Greenwich went well following a shaky start. My lack lustre fitness and the cold weather this morning meant I was really feeling it by the time I got a short mile down the road to Plumstead, I wasn’t sure I’d even make it to Woolwich. However, a bit of sun goes a long way and by the time I reached the rather more forgiving flat runs between Woolwich and Greenwich (OK the slight downward incline helped) I was enjoying myself. The weather was glorious by the time I got to Greenwich.

It was that fun time of day in London when the sun’s been up for a few hours but most of the city are still in bed and so Greenwich was quiet. I meandered down by the river for a while soaking up the rare rays and watching the rowers go past on a training run. If I had any foresight I would have brought a book and lain down on the hill in the park for a few hours. But I don’t have any foresight and so I drank my rest drink and hit the pedals to go home. Oddly the ride back wasn’t as taxing despite being nearly all up hill. It felt a little like I’d broken the cobwebs off my legs.

Anyway, it was pleasing to have the endorphin rush from actual exercise and I amused myself with an afternoon at the flix (review to follow later in the week). I have realised my assertion yesterday was correct: I’m not fit enough to attempt a regular city run yet. But I survived and next week I may even venture further afield.

Now I must get back to G – haven’t seen her all day.

Bottom

Sometimes you just need to hit bottom before you can come out the otherside.

For me that moment was yesterday when I found out that someone who had promised me faithfully they would do something hadn’t. Actually, it was more than one person but it occurred to me, or rather the observation crunched through my head like an anvil, that the world didn’t end because that stuff hadn’t been done. That in point of fact my soldiering on when I clearly needed a rest wasn’t just silly but really quite arrogant. And so I hit the brakes.

Which is a really convoluted way of saying I took the day off.

Today has been spent getting some of the ever growing pile of life stuff I needed to get done off my to do list, reading and attempting to write some flash. The later not going terribly well – the first attempt actually turned out to be a short story idea that I will have a crack at next week – but everything else was pretty good. I’m also looking at how I structure my week so I don’t keep hitting the wall like I’ve done through the first quarter of the year. 2009 is pretty much a pressure cooker – as it is for most people – and it’s no good whining about it. I’ve just got to adapt. It’s OK – I have a plan.

On the writing front there hasn’t been much going on. No excuses, I simply let my priorities get skewed but I’ve begun to bounce now. My plan is to try to finish the current draft of Forever by the time we put the kitchen in at the end of April/beginning of May. On the grounds that I won’t have as much time for that fortnight period and so it feels like a natural break point. I’ll probably do some more short fiction following that.

More blogging soon. Promise.

Sunday Musing

So I’m in Wales at the moment.

It’s really good to be out of London for the weekend and to see my family. Hanging out with my brother, his girlfriend and my niece was really fun. I can’t believe how quickly C (my niece) is growing and I don’t think it’ll be long before she’s mobile, apparently she’s already crawling a little – although I haven’t seen it yet. Through the magic of the internet I also got to see/speak to my sister in Sydney. She looks well and seems to be having fun on her latest adventure.

However, mainly I’ve been resting. That I was tired I knew but it still came as a surprise that I slept for around twelve hours last night and I feel much better for not carrying a full set of luggage under my eyes. Typically, as I start to have more time, my thoughts are turning to writing and looking at what I’ve managed to do this year. To be honest it’s been a bit disappointing.

The year started very well with a couple of stories scheduled to appear and I’d be lying if I didn’t say how pleased I was to take part in Illuminations in spite of the less than stellar review I got. Yet since then I haven’t managed to place anything, due largely I think, to focussing mainly on my novel projects and largely only submitting to pro-markets. My main concern about the length of time it’s taking to find places for my stories is that I’m not getting feedback and this slows down my progress. For example, the review in Illuminations was a little bruising but it was also incredibly useful and made me work a lot harder on my line edits. Hopefully, improving my work for the better. The fact is that some of the stories I currently have in circulation are coming up to a year old and I want to move on, to learn from them. Feedback has to be part of that, in my opinion.

Then there’s the danger of obscurity. I’ve found the Friday Flash meme incredibly useful in terms of generating feedback but it is ultimately such a short form that it limits the amount of experimentation you can carry out and increasingly I find myself wanting to post some of my longer stuff. You know, just to see what happens. The fact is that no one gets rich from short stories these days and I wonder if perhaps I’d be better off trying to promote my own stuff online.

Or is it just vanity?

I don’t know. I do know that it seems illogical to continue with the same process when it doesn’t seem to be working and that if I put myself in the mindset of using my short fiction as a loss leader or marketing tool it leads me down a very different path than submitting to a handful of paying markets. Or that if I just want to do it for fun. Or if I could generate a different meme along the lines of the Clarion process maybe I could generate some feedback.

Lots to think about.

And I can’t silence that voice in the back of my head. You know: the one that keeps pointing out whether you really want to get to the end of your life and still be asking what if? Thoughts?

Inter-dimensional San Miguel

Yesterday, at my company, it was our summer party. We all gathered in an underground club in Soho and consumed many, many beers. This morning I feel like my brain has been replaced with an old sock. This is one of the many reasons I rarely drink.

In addition strange things have been happening all morning. In the process of putting on my shirt the buttons switched sides, the floor tilted as I put on my trousers – spilling me on my arse – and the top  BBC headline seemed to be some footballer getting hitched.

Leaving the house it got worse.

The station seems to have moved overnight, turning a fifteen minute walk into twenty-five. No one seemed to be able to see me at the station as evidenced by their attempts to walk through me and, rather more memorably, sit on my lap. A church sign, concerned with the big questions of existence, asked me “What would Jesus say to Alan Sugar?”.

Then I saw the headline on a broadsheet and I realised that my beer must have had some special properties that slipped me into an alternate reality. After all, the legend “Brown wins 42 days vote” couldn’t be true in my world. I mean the collective parliament would have had to be lobotomised and replaced with half-wit reactionary media whores.

If anyone wants me I’ll be under my desk. Tunnelling for home.

Pathetic

Express Headline from 6th February
The Express showed its usual levels of sensitivity in reporting on that news story this past Wednesday. Only two days later it’s forced to report:

“Philip Walters, coroner for Bridgend and the Glamorgan valleys, said he is concerned about young suicides, and wants an all-Wales strategy created to deal with the problem, but does not believe the recent deaths in the Bridgend area are connected.”

Oddly enough it doesn’t make the front page.

Fair warning

Writing

Decisions. They’re funny things. While I was back in Wales I kind of reached a decision, that being I really need to finish my story Priest for both my sanity and to put into the kind of state where it can be shown to people without embarrassment. After all I’ve spent a lot of time on it already.

I remain uncertain what will be done with it on completion. I may post it here. I may try my luck with some publishers. Or I may just run a couple of copies off for friends. Whatever. That’s ultimately not as important as being able to say I did it, I finished it. And I do need to know I can do that.

So I’m setting myself an eight week deadline – by the 30th March I aim to have finished the third and final draft (not including proofing) of Priest. And I’m posting about it here to encourage myself to actually hit the deadline. Feel free to mock me if I don’t hit it.

What does that mean for the blog? Sorry, I’m not disappearing – you don’t get off that easy. It basically means things are set to get a bit more writerly with lots of random posts along the lines of “Just met the Tream” and “Oh at Golgotha and something strange is going on”.

But that’s not entirely fair.

Really, if I’m going to gob off about my own crap then I really should give you some idea about the story, so, by way of explanation, here’s the blurb what I just wrote:

On the borderlands of the Kurah empire a clan woman, Anya, escapes from her tormentors. Fleeing, bleeding and badly used, into the forest where she crashes into the life of a reclusive woodsman, Vedic. Desperate for help she must persuade her reluctant saviour to help her save the people she left behind. But who is Vedic and what is he afraid of?

Deep in the forest the tream plot revenge on the gods of the grove for their recent transgressions against the king. Whilst in the clan city of Vikrain the aging Thain struggles to muster an army to meet the Kurah at the Barrens where, in shadow of the forest, once more the two nations must fight.

With humans, tream and gods on a collision course more is at stake than they realise as the horned god walks the forest once more. And the fate of the world rests in the hands of a scarred girl and a reluctant hero harbouring a terrible secret.

I will endeavor to lighten things up with CVTW assuming I’m not too busy. I also have some weekends away in that period including a possible viking festival, Amsterdam on business and, of course, Eastercon. I’m likely to do stupid things at all three and naturally I’ll share them here. Life in short doesn’t stop, after all no one pays me for making things up.

So basically I’m just turning the writing aspect of this blog up to eleven. Should be fun.

Quest

X800

There have been various posts recently about the quest to find a suitable handheld device that can actually function as a phone as well as an internet device from Stephen Fry to Charlie Stross. I must confess: I’m no different.

As a fellow gadget head I’ve had my fair share of devices but have yet to find the holy grail. Indeed my last attempt, the brick like XDA, left scars so deep that I went running back to dependable but slow Sony Ericsson vowing to give up on any future gizmos – no matter how shiny or cool they were.

Now times seem to be changing. For the first time – although at prices that make the eyes water – you can actually get mobile broadband that is actually approaching…well…broad. And you can pick up an ultra-portable for under three hundred pounds if you know where to look.

At the same time my commute is driving me to lunacy and leaving me exhausted to the point where doing anything other than flumping on the sofa is quite difficult. Recent appearances of fecundity are in fact simply me utilising older content that never made it. In short I need to be mobile, properly.

My quest is two-fold:

1. I need a decent, mac compatible, handheld – with phone connectivity (that means no lag between me answering and the call being picked up) and fast internet access (ideally 3.5g).

2. I need an ultra portable that I can type on at full speed on a train seat with a small footwell and no table/seat tray. That precludes the Macbook Air (shiny though it be at thirteen inches it’s just two wide). Oh and it would be cool if it could be tethered to the device required in item 1.

My question – Has anyone reading this found the promised land and solved either of these?

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