The problem of language

I am constantly amazed how one can have a meeting with a collection of very bright, articulate, people and still have everyone talk at cross purposes. It’s bizarre. Yet periodically it seems to happen. Meetings overrun, you spend hours talking before realising you’re all agreeing with each other. Loudly.

It’s exhausting.

I love words, I love language and I have a serious book problem (I bought my house because my book collection got too big for a flat). It’s one of the reasons I write and it’s one of the main reasons I like writers such as Stephen Fry, Anthony Burgess and Bill Bryson. I’m quite shy around people I don’t know but around people I do you can’t shut me up. I like to think I’m pretty articulate.

On days like today the bubble bursts and I realise I’m mumbling into the dark like everyone else.

Themes

My suggestion for a themed Friday Flash Fiction went down well. Everyone seemed to be up for it but I’m unsure how to proceed from here – do you want me to suggest one or should we defer to GLP (originator of the meme)?

I think it may be too late for this Friday but how about we shoot for the 7th September…oooh we could do the seventh son? (…kidding it’s on my itunes as I type…).

Anyway answers on a postcard…or better on the comments or on your own blogs if you prefer (I’m easy). If you want me to do it then I’ll post suggestions with my entry this week.

If you’re wondering who I’m talking about the fellow flash fictioneers are:
Gareth D. Jones, Paul Raven, Shaun C. Green, Martin McGrath and the originator Gareth L. Powell. All talented, all well worth a look. Consider yourselves tagged guys :)

Incidently any ladies want to join the fray? We’re looking a bit like Gentleman’s only club here.

Sleep

I actually slept last night. It was glorious and feeling close to human again is nice.

I cycled today, I’m still less fit than a fried egg but baby steps…or pedals…

Not much going on at the moment as everything is in hiatus as we wait for the Insurance Assessor to come out and tell us how little they’re going to pay for. I just want to get on with it, the house is starting to affect my writing.

On that subject the first draft of Last Plank is finally finished and bits of it are ok, it’s a bloodbath and the theme seems to have been lost in the process but I’ll see what I can do with it in a few weeks. Careless will be making it’s way out into the world to do the rounds, fingers crossed…

And it’s back to Priest (a novel) for the final draft so no more short fiction – other than Flash Friday – for a while. I really have to come up with a new name for this one, the current one is becoming less and less relevant. So it goes…

The Mine

My short story “The Mine” has been picked up by Jupiter. It’s scheduled for Issue 19 in January.

Friday Flash Fiction: The Ghost in the Glass

Well it’s that time of the week again.

Martin Mcgrath has “27 ways to avoid work”, Paul Raven has “AWOL” and we’re joined by Gareth D. Jones with “The Gondolier”.

Meanwhile Gareth L Powell who started it all has the rather wonderful “Stranded in time”.

I’m conscious the length of my entries are getting a little long, I debated whether or not this should even go up but I’ve been a little bit dry this week.

So here goes:

The Ghost in the Glass
By Neil Beynon

The queue meanders round the waiting room, sepia tones of sunlight breaking through the dusty windows, the air fetid and dank with sweat. Joe stands waiting, time stretching on – like the queue – into the distance punctuated only by periodic coughing.

“How much you in for?” asks the old man behind Joe.

Joe turns to look at the old duffer, the rough cotton of his vest scraping across his back and causing him to wince.

“Ten maybe Fifteen,” Joe answers. “Depends.”
“Yeah, market’s gone crazy,” says the duffer. “I was here last week and I got me Thirty k just for five. Man that was sweet.”

The duffer talks fast for an old guy, talks fast for anyone as a matter of fact. Joe had seen the type before. Thirty for Five? Man if he was back so soon he had it bad.

“I’m here for my girl,” Joe states. Just to be clear that he has nothing in common with the duffer.

The duffer falls silent, his eyes shifting awkwardly to the woman in front of Joe. The woman is skeletally thin but the wrinkly duffer goes right on staring at her bony arse, overlooking her lank, greasy pony-tail and missing teeth.

“Sick?” asks the duffer after a few moments.

“Yeah,” Joe answers, his own eyes fixing for some reason on the girl. “Bronchial pneumonia.”
“Tough break,” says the duffer. “Misery loves company.”

“What?” asks Joe.
“Misery loves company,” says the duffer nodding to the girl. “Look around you brother, these people aren’t queuing for fun.”
“Misery is a disease,” answers Joe. “An infection everyone is scared of catching.”

They both fall silent again as they shuffle slowly forward.

The girl in front is hungrily eyeing the jar of mints sat on the front desk, her scabbed, bare feet slapping absently on the floor in nervous rhythm. The woman on reception frowns at her, they’re reaching the front of the queue now, sighing she
raises the jar towards what’s left of the girl. She takes a handful, for the next few moments the only sounds are that of mints being munched.

“Don’t eat too many,” warns the receptionist before miming “L.A.X.I.T.I.V.E.” at her. Expansive hand gestures follow.

She’s not being nice, she just doesn’t want a death in the queue. It would be bad for business. The girl has moved to booth number eight and Joe has reached the front of the queue.

Booth nine flashes up as free.

“Name?”

“Joe.”

“Surname?”

“Hill.”

“How much you need?”

“Thirty-thousand.”

“At today’s rate that’s gonna cost you twenty.”

“I thought fifteen tops?”

“It’s a long queue mister, plenty being dumped on the market today.”

“I’m not sure I’ll stretch that far.”

She looks him up and down. He doesn’t like this. He’s seen that look before in the abattoir he used to work at before the machines took over.
“You’ll be fine,” she said. “I wouldn’t take it otherwise.”

Joe’s reflection catches him on the gloss surface of the booth, a ghost in the glass staring back at him. Joe’s tangled mass of black unruly hair laced with streaks of grey framing a tired face and cold eyes of pale piercing blue. His eyes are the only feature he likes, not because he’s vain but because they’re the one part of himself he gave to his daughter. The rest is all mum.

“Get a move on dude,” says the duffer. “I got places to be.”

Joe slaps his arm down on the counter and the woman ties his arm off above the elbow with a length of orange rubber tubing. Then the machine locks onto his arm and all is humming accompanied by a long deep pull in his chest, it is unpleasant but you get used to it.

Before he leaves the receptionist hands him a cane, free of charge, just in case he stumbles.

The door chimes as he pushes its heavy weight open to let himself out onto the street once more, fuck is it heavy. In the background the duffer is arguing with the woman who served Joe.

Joe is not listening he has been startled by a face looking back at him from the door. It is lined like dried leather and topped with snow-white hair, for a moment he is worried he has crushed a duffer in his haste to leave.

Then he notices the eyes, icy blue, looking back at him. The face is suddenly his own, the ghost in the glass changed but the same.

Feeling the heavy wait of the cash in his pocket he heads out into the street, his journey not over.

Lesson Learned

It is wise, I have learned, not to seek advice unless you are prepared to listen to the answer.

In Stephen King’s excellent biog/writer’s manual “On Writing” he advocates the writing of first drafts with the door closed. In essence at this stage you are, as the writer, telling yourself the story. Next you slap the manuscript in a draw for a short while, enough time to gaze on it with fresh eyes, and then you go back to fix all your clangers. Finally you show it to your test reader.

I have, until today, followed this method religiously and as a result have received the “Wow” reaction (a reaction so cool it should come with its own dry ice machine) on exactly three occasions. Admittedly from three different people for three different pieces.

In the spirit of trying new things and having tried to bring the text a little more to life I allowed/demanded G read a first draft. It was a short story called “Wide Open Space”.

She did not say Wow.

That is not to say it was not useful, it was. I got some great feedback and I’m going to try to fix some of those clangers in a few days when I’ve rested the story a bit.

But ultimately, and particularly with a short story, you can only have someone read it for the first time once. You have exactly one shot per story per reader to get the moment of glory.

So don’t ignore the advice of wise men, especially bestselling ones, they didn’t get that way by accident. They grafted, they learnt and in some special cases they’re willing to pass on what they learned.

If you’ll listen.

I’m off to work on “The Last Plank” now. The door will be closed until I’ve got that baby planed down smooth. Ta Ta for now.

They saw me coming…

My car hates me.

It was MOT time yesterday and I think Ford saw me coming: £600 (ouch!). What was done includes a pretty innocuous list:

- Computer calibration (didn’t know it had one)
- Headlight settings (you mean it’s not my wit dazzling the other drivers?)
- Anti-roll bar brushes (they’re rubber brushes how can they cost £70?)
- Brakes cleaned (ok pretty important…)
- Coolant flushed and replaced (why is it pink?)

Still they also cleaned the car (I’m not going to go into detail but there was stuff growing on the rubber seal that runs around the windows). Possibly the most expensive car wash I’ve ever used.

Anyway what else have I been up to?

Mainly I’ve been working on “The Mine” which is a short story that only I’ve read so not very interesting to anyone else but the first draft is done. It’s not come out as well as I’d like but I’m hopeful that a robust redraft can knock it into shape enough for it to go out to market.

A week off the day job coming up so I’m going to make a big dent in the second draft of “The Priest” (I think the title is going to have to change amongst other things) and I’m pretty much made up that I’m going to send “House” out to a different market as it’s had pretty consistent positive feedback in spite of missing out on “Black Static”.

Recently purchased a load of Penguin Classics from Borders as I was spending way too much on more recent titles and reading only within my comfort zone (enjoyable but like too many Big Macs not good for you).

This was one of my better ideas and I’ve had a ton of fun reading people I always promised myself I would get round to one day.

My favourite so far has been “Dubliners”, the short story collection by James Joyce, a really good book for commuting as I could read an entire story each way on my journey to work and so well crafted; can’t believe he was younger than me when he wrote it. Currently I’m reading Conrad’s “The Secret Agent” but it’s a bit early to tell if I’ll like it though early signs are promising.

At the same time as I was in Borders purchasing my bargain classics I also came across a nice volume on Welsh history, so rare to find that type of book in London in a major chain I just had to buy it: £16.99. This somewhat defeated the idea of buying the classics.

I think they saw me coming too…

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