Ten things I’ve done that you probably haven’t


This is in response to this.

It’s surprising how hard it is to think of things, although a few had to be edited for the sake of remaining gainfully employed and/or family members still talking to me. Here goes:

1. Stood in Mogadishu airport but not as a member of US armed forces.

2. Eaten a glass Christmas bauble.

3. Been knocked over by Tom Baker.

4. Walked topless through Paris with dried pigeon shit in my hair.

5. Cycled from Bridgend to Cardiff and back again.

6. Had my toilet left in the bath having fallen out with my plumber.

7. Had my ears interfered with by a hairdresser.

8. Played pretty much every part in Peter Pan save Peter himself and of course Wendy. You should see my tiger lily.

9. Tried to walk home (Wales) from Somalia (Africa).

10. Driven a 1982 Metro at 100mph without dying – ok it was downhill with a following wind.

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