Things I learned this weekend:

– If feeding family home cooked ham with sticky bits it’s best to stand back
– Pineapple eaten whilst bouncing on a pink ball following a long walk induces labour
– A golden retriever can hear a banana being peeled at fifteen paces
– You don’t want to know what a sweep is
– Be careful what you leave lying on the kitchen counter
– Never ask G to navigate unless you like adventures in the valleys
– It is not possible to ask a question to which the answer “sticky bits” does not produce instant innuendo
– In the event sticky bits doesn’t work just ask my sister, E, how she likes her peri peri